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Hopefully you came to here before birthing, and before feeling as though you were not coping – as most is preventable . . if you have seen the Pregnancy App – in the section of upset mum – it is all about looking after yourself first – of having great nutrition before birthing and during pregnancy so whatever is thrown at you – you have something in the tank to counter with.
Maybe we need to ask what will the long term effects be – when being exposed to non natural interventions . .
Studies show mums’ lives are not improved and enjoying bub and being a mum is harder when this is ignored.
How to avoid all problems – be totally cocooned in protective support as most traditional cultures and our own used to) did as the vulnerable times when healing and looking after the precious newborn take mum out of living her normal routine and life. At least 30 preferably 40 days of being in her babies aura and not needing to do anything normally her ‘role’ is best. See more here
Maternal birth trauma – is way more common than it needs to be ..
Alone and trying to cope with the changes – when you are least able to Possibly seek out the help offered from Birth Talk and like maternal support organisations. Please at least get the Pregnancy App as there is loads of helpful practical suggestions to be found there – and also the raw ingredients – please read this first – as invariably food – nourishing yourself so you can nourish baby and your own healing – is being neglected.
Sometimes being a mum is not what you thought it would be – and you may have the most perfect baby, have had the ‘most perfect’ everything – and still – you don’t feel that you fit. It is very difficult to write this, and not have you feel as though somehow you failed – as mothers do always seem to take this position. Feeling responsible is the essence of parenting, and being a mum is the most important thing you will ever do.
You may now even remember all that you blamed your own mum for, whilst you were growing up and possibly even now . . and here you find that you are in pole position yourself. We all discover that we respect our parents far more once we get to be in their shoes.
Being out of ease may be the likely outcome of not trusting nature in your birthing and not letting nature guided you
Underlying becoming an ‘unsettled mum’ may have been a wealth of pre birth fears, insecurities, and assumptions that were preyed upon to ensure you were conditioned to feel you needed to trust others – not your body or yourself. This sets you up for not knowing what to do. Nature had it all sussed. Left to herself mum would have had all the instincts and drives to ensure baby is safe and protected – just like all mammals are and do.
Opening into the infrequently asked, though privately pondered upon questions.
What to do if I do not feel maternal?
What if being a mum is/has not ‘come naturally’ to me?
Maybe to understand this – perhaps ask yourself – did loving, pregnancy and birthing come naturally? Were you interrupted at any stage of being connected to baby? All those scans and the worry of ‘maybe’ – did this upset you and your perfect pregnancy dreams? Did you experience moments or days./weeks of the possibility of loss at the beginning of pregnancy? Did you listen to all that happened to others and internalise it – being grateful when doctor took away the unknowing and give you a date and a ‘pass out’ from having to be a natural birthing mum?
Did you ask how you would feel being a mum without all the birthing hormones intact? Whether baby would be awake and aware enough to be part of the birthing bonding tableaux?
Did you focus on the stories of ‘what may happen’ – the handing over of the decision making ‘for the good of baby’? . . Did you think to ask – what about when I take baby home – will my maternal instincts all flow then? Will milk, love, and wanting to be a mum happen later?
Often it does not.
Much more often than not now birthing is removed from how nature sets you up to be able, and wanting to be a mum.
What to do about all of this?
Breathe – you are not alone.
Start with food – fat, protein and heaps of colour on your plate – please do not eat white/beige.
In all of this you will discover what will get you through – and baby – as you need also to be feeding your newbornFat. Protein. Vit B – a little often and magnesium – spread in your body – getting topical /transdermal is the best idea as you need a lot of Vit C – a little often to help with stress – the more you look to nutrients, the easier everything else is . . .
Read more here Never use ice . . especially not around a pregnant or just birthed mother – please get your free eBook as to why on the page above.
Perhaps also invest (or get others to present you with this great gift) my Welcome Baby pack – a care package you can take away and use all through life and especially throughout this precious time of making your children. Take charge.
Contents are all targeting what comes up at various stages in pregnancy and after birthing (and in maternity generally) and all have found their way over the decades of my being a pregnancy care practitioner to be highly useful – and unique. Including my designing and manufacturing some of them! Make sure of your comfort, health, happiness and safety .
Get your Welcome Baby pack here
Any queries, please contact me firstname.lastname@example.org